CHEWATA Jokes/Humor

Jokes/Humor – General

Logic Programming (husband and wife):
Husband : ( Returning late from work )
“Good Evening Dear, I’m now logged in.”
Wife : Have you brought the grocery ?
Husband : Bad command or filename.
Wife : But I told you in the morning
Husband : Erroneous syntax. Abort ?
Wife : What about my new TV?
Husband : Variable not found …
Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied …
Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny ?
Husband : Too many parameters …
Wife : It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband : Data type mismatch.
Wife : You are a useless nut.
Husband : It’s by Default.
Wife : What about your Salary ?
Husband : File in use … Try after some time.
Wife : Who was in the car this morning ?
Husband : System is unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot. Wife : Are you going to drink wine ?
Husband : File system is full.
Wife : What is relation between u and your Receptionist?
Husband : Only user in my WRITE group.
Wife : What is my value in the family.
Husband : Unknown Virus
Contributed by: Anonymous

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> > NEW TWO YEAR DEGREE
A new two year degree is being offered at many colleges and universities that many men will be interested in: Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six trimesters, you, too, can become a real man as well as earn an MA degree (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
FIRST YEAR
MEN 101 — Combating Stupidity
MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103 PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas
Winter Schedule:
> > > > MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
> > > > MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4 am
> > > > MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn’t End with Conception
> > > > EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
> > > > EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
> > > > ECON 001A What’s Hers is Hers
> > > > > > > > Spring Schedule:
> > > > MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Buttface When You’re Wrong
> > > > MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
> > > > MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
> > > > MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers
> > > > ECON 001C What Was Yours is Hers
> > > > > > > > SECOND YEAR
> > > > Autumn Schedule:
> > > > SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
> > > > SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take a Shower
> > > > SEX 103 How to Stay Awake After Sex
> > > > MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down
> > > > Elective (See Electives Below)
> > > > > > > > Winter Schedule:
> > > > MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
> > > > MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
> > > > MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
> > > > MEN 213 Honest, You Don’t Look Like Tom Cruise
> > > > MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important I
> > > > > > > > Spring Schedule:
> > > > MEN 220 Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary(Pass/Fail Only)
> > > > MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
> > > > MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
> > > > MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important
II
> > > > > > > > Course Electives:
> > > > EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu > > > > EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils > > > > EAT 103 Burping and Belching Discreetly > > > > MEN 231 Mothers-in-law > > > > MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening > > > > MEN 233 Just Say “Yes, Dear”, and Mean It > > > > ECON 001C Cheaper to Keep Her
Contributed byAnnonymous Feminist

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A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, “Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies. God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries. He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 p.m.and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing greens for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 p.m. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love-which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.” The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll have to wait 9 months, though. You got pregnant last night.”
Contributed by Anonymous

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Seems that when the Lord was creating the world, He called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was absolutely horrified… “Only twenty years of normal sex life?” Yet, the Lord was adamant and insisted that Man could have no more than twenty years of normal sex life. Then, the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. “But, I don’t need twenty years,” protested the monkey. “Ten years is plenty for me.” Man spoke up eagerly, “Can I have the other ten years?” The monkey graciously agreed. Then, the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years. The lion, like the monkey, only wanted ten years. Again, man spoke up, “can I have the other ten years?” Thelion graciously agreed. Then, along came a donkey and he too was given twenty years. But, like the others, ten years was more than sufficient. Once again, man pleaded, “can I have the other ten years?” And so,it all makes perfect sense now… Man has twenty years of normal sex life, ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it and ten years of making an ass of himself. > >

Girma bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. “There ain’t no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him. “What in hell am I doing?” he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before you can go!” “Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” the man said, “and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!” Have a nice night”, said the officer.
Contributed by Anonymous

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1 ethiopia tikkidem! tikkdem!!! 2 ethiopia Kedima Kedima cdekimat Tila sir tiref! tiref!!! 3 Tila sir aref bila gorebetuan kenyan ” kenya ere enkya nu buna Tettu” tibelat! tibelat!!! 4 Ethiopia buna tiwedalechi ! tiwedalechi !!!  Kelyounetachin belay andnetachin kef bilo yawilebelibal! yawilebelibal!!!

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